We sometimes have the impression of exploding with anger, without her having warned of her arrival. However, there are a whole series of physical signals that are linked to anger. Anger is also a physical response. Its fuel is the body’s “fight or flight” system. The angrier you are, the more your body is activated. Becoming aware of the previous signals of anger is a first step towards controlling it.
Anger Management: Understanding The Signals
Bodily manifestations of anger
- knots in the stomach
- clenched fists and jaw
- the feeling of wetness, of warmth
- breathing is fast
- need to walk, to calm down
- See red
- difficulty concentrating
- Sensation of the beating heart in the chest
- tension in the shoulders
Identify the thought patterns that trigger or fuel your anger
You may think that it is others who are triggering your anger or the frustrating situation in which you find yourself. You are probably right. Another factor that influences anger is how you interpret what is happening to you. In fact, the situation and the other people are just the contexts in which you will get angry or not … it will depend greatly on your interpretation.
Here is a small list of thought patterns commonly encountered in anger issues:
- Over-generalization: for example: “you ALWAYS interrupt me,” “NEVER you ask me for my opinion” “ NO ONE respects me” “I NEVER get what I deserve.”
- Despotism of “must” and “must” (MUSTS): Having a rigid vision of how things should happen is likely to trigger when reality does not meet this vision.
- Reading the thought and jumping to the conclusion: this pattern of thoughts is at work when you “know” what others think or feel, supposing (“no-no, I know exactly what he thinks… I suppose, not, I know”) that he has malicious intentions towards you, that he intentionally ignores your needs or that he disrespects you is likely to activate anger.
- Accumulate frustrations: by looking at what is wrong and what is bothering you, you activate similar memories in your memory and make memories that are not in emotional harmony with your mood more difficult to access. You also select the information in the interpretation you make of your environment: do not let anything pass from the behavior of others, systematically interpret in a direction that fuels your anger. By accumulating the points, from small irritation to small irritation, you come, at a given moment, to explode when the problem is probably minor.
- Blame: When something goes wrong, there is always someone responsible, a good soul on whom to blame the misery of the world’s misery … especially yours. You come to blame others for the things that are going on in your life. Giving responsibility for your life to someone is not very helpful in helping you move forward… to move forward, you must have the reins of your life in your hands, not in the hands of others.
Whenever possible, avoid people, places, situations that make you angry.